One more blonde who is dumb

... or let's rephrase it as "One more dumb who is blonde". At the recent Miss Teen U.S.A. beauty pageant, Miss South Carolina mumbled something - in response to the question "Why do you think one-fifth of the American population is not able to locate U.S.A on a world map?" - which even the most profound of the linguists will have a hard time deciphering. Have a look:


It would not come as a surprise to me if a U.S. President, coming from the generation of this blonde, signs the impending nuclear deal as a 132 Agreement. If South Africa and Iraq can be neighbours of U.S.A, then certainly 3 can also be a neighbour of 1 on the number line. What say?

P.S. This ad very subtly and brilliantly uses this pretext to sell a car. Worth a watch!

Nathuram's etymology

Every Indian knows the name Nathuram Godse and his claim to (de)fame.

You would assume, for a man who has committed a high profile murder, that he shall be of a very rugged and masculine nature. But this is what Wikipedia says:

Upon birth, he was named Ramachandra by his parents, but due to his perceived effeminate nature, they rechristened him as Nathuram (nath in Hindi means nose-ring).

Pretty intriguing !!

Prakash Karat's faux pas

I was reading an editorial by Prakash Karat which got featured in Hindu on 20th August. Here is an excerpt:

“...Prior to the joint statement of July 2005, the UPA Government signed a ten-year Defence Framework Agreement with the Untied States.”

Seems it takes only a swap of vowels to untie the united states of the United States. Or it might have been a Freudian slip. Who knows?

Visit to Tirupathi = Marketing Mantra learnt

After shelving my plans of paying a visit to Lord Tirupathi umpteen number of times in the last three years, I finally managed to visit the holy shrine this July.

I was quite upbeat about having a look at the huge Hundis there and the South Indian ladies throwing all the jewelery that they have on themselves right in to the Hundi. But alas, that was not to be. Instead what I got was a one hour long wait in a cramped suffocating queue to have my prasadam. Moreover, my sightings of the idol were limited to a meager 2 seconds, that too with an iron hand clutching my elbow and wanting to throw me out as soon as the allotted 2 seconds were over. A graphical account is presented below of my sightings of the Lord's idol.

But what disappointed me most was the uninspired manner in which most of the devotees conducted themselves and the utter lack of camaraderie among the co-pilgrims which is so evident when you pay a visit to Vaishno Devi. For most of the pilgrims, it was seeming like a forced visit with a total lack of enthusiasm and devotion. (I sincerely hope that I am wrong here but this is what was visible, at least from the outside.)

This made me come out with a theory of my own which professes the fact that popular Mandirs can also be viewed as God's SHOWROOM these days. The salient features of my theory follow:

• People went to Mandirs supposedly for the tranquility, silence and the peace there but I doubt if these three words can be found anywhere in Tirupathi's vicinity these days.
  
  
  According to my theory, if you want the Holy Three combination, offering a Puja at your home is the best option and hence, any popular Mandir has been reduced to more of a showroom where you come to decide whether you want to take up (buy) the belief of this God.

• In case of repeated visits, it's more of a tax paying spree (the long queues notwithstanding) where you come to pay the taxes of the services that you have entailed for the last one year.

• Another point seconding my reasoning that Mandir = Showroom: Mandir is the place where the Lord displays all His might and tries to lure you into buying His belief by showing you:
• The huge fan following that He has got (in terms of the long queues)
• All the worldly wealth that He possesses (in terms of the very rich Mandir and all the gold adorning it)
  
• Lastly, His divine powers (in terms of all the miracle tales that you hear from your co-pilgrims)

• Sadly, the option of a test ride still hasn't been roped in. The test ride translates to: you giving the Lord one of your wishes and testing whether He can make it come true in a week. And given the large no. of Hindu Gods available, we can surely lead a very peaceful life just by "testing" all of them one by one.

P.S. This piece in no way means to malign the divinity and the powers of any spiritual and religious deity and has been written in a purely satirical tone with my tongue firmly in the cheek.