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Nothing but hilarious

I am currently reading Richard Branson's autobiography titled "Losing my Virginity". The title seems to be catchy enough and borders on titillation but has genuine reasons behind his origin. This book was written in the aftermath of him losing his flagship brand Virgin Music.
Anyways, this post is not about the book or it's title but is a short paragraph which has been excerpted from the book. Read on:

I had a number of girlfriends . . . and came tantalizingly closer and closer to losing my virginity at parties, when the lights went out and everyone lay around on cushions.
I finally found a girl who was reputed to go the whole way, and at one party we slipped upstairs into a remote bedroom. I was amazed when she let me push up her skirt and take off her knickers. As we began to make love, she started to moan and groan. She was clearly having a very erotic time. I was pretty pleased by how well I must be performing since she was panting and tossing her head from side to side as she fought to control her breathing. I put up a great show and finally came with equally impressive gusto, roaring and shouting and huffing and puffing. Then I rolled off her. To my astonishment she carried on panting, apparently having what I took to be ecstatic multiple orgasms. Just as I was beginning to feel a little bemused and somewhat redundant, I finally realized that she was panting for a reason.

"Asthma!" she wheezed in breathless panic "Inhaler! Ambulance!"

Couldn't stop laughing after reading this !!

It's not bad being a geek

To: All the members of my fraternity.


Gone are the days when you would wish to chop off the head of an arbit female who had just called you a geek.

I agree that you can't feel more peeved than when somebody calls you a geek. And that too when fantasizing about super models, letching at hot females, masturbating with your hand and not a pneumatic vacuum pump, manufacturing innovative slangs in chaste Hindi and counting the names of all Jenna Jameson flicks available on LAN is an integral part of your daily routine.

But I may not wince as strongly as I used to previously on being called a geek, because now there are 10 reasons why we make better lovers than the average uber cool metrosexual. Some of them being:

• A geek is more likely to figure out how to customize toys and to design arousing environments for your avatars to play in than a non-geek. And that experience translates into a greater sensitivity to atmosphere and mood during sex -- beyond lighting a candle.

• A technophobe mostly talks to you in person, but a geek is happy to be with you by texting your phone, flirting with you in a chat room, Skyping you, Twittering just in case you're on your vibrating couch (NSFW), sending funny cell-phone snapshots to your e-mail, playing online games, commenting on your blog, Digging articles that interest you, seducing you by instant message….

• Geeks have seen all the porn you can imagine and then some, priming them to be open to your sexual peccadilloes. They are not only less likely to be shocked by your exotic requests -- they might not even realize that other people think your turn-ons are exotic. Conversely, your geek lover might be relieved that your wildest fantasy involves only two other people, five utensils and a trapeze.

• Geeks haven't just seen a variety of positions, kinks and fetishes in blue movies. They know (or are) people who enjoy those things, so they don't dismiss entire categories of sexual interests as the sole province of a bunch of weirdos in San Francisco.

Ladies, next time you meet a geek, remind yourself of the divine powers that he possesses and ask him out!!

Ghoti = Fish

If you still haven't got it, well don't worry. Most of us, the lesser beings won't. This is how the word "ghoti" is pronounced. Still can't get it! Well here's how it works:

gh as in tough, o as in women and ti as in any word ending in -tion

This is the perfect recipe for a delicious Bengali fish.

George Bernard Shaw coined this term exactly for the purpose that I am serving here. This word doesn't even have a meaning and is used only to show the phonetic nature of the English language.

One reason why English has a wider reach than any other language is for the ease with which a beginner can learn it. But, with the phonetic mayhem that it possesses, it is surely not easy to speak correctly, however easy it maybe to write. The only reason that I can think of for this wider reach is perhaps, the humongous cross breeding that the Britishers practiced during the Commonwealth era.

There have been many a tries for a phonetic movement. But, even imagining the way phonetic English shall be written gives you goosebumps.
Kaech Twaintee Too, Eessan't it?

Thought, thanks to Stephen

Drop Dead Gorgeous

• What better way to start off than by adoring the beauty of the opposite sex.
• What better way to start off than by letting a sports-person be the subject of my first (technically second) post. (I am a sports maniac)
• What better way to start off than by letting a black be the subject of my second post. (I am strongly against racial discrimination)

All these constraints leave me with no choice but to let you savor the beauty of Serena Williams. Enjoy !!

Link via Bastardly

And if you are still not scared, then let yourself be devoured by this feline animal and you shall certainly reach unseen levels of spookiness.